This Can Finally Help You Heal Your Broken Heart

This Can Finally Help You Heal Your Broken Heart

This Can Finally Help You Heal Your Broken Heart

 

Do you feel like this?

Smiling on the outside, but crying on the inside.

Saying “I’m ok! Really, I’m fine!” while inside “I want this pain to stop!”

You feel you’ve suffered enough and you got to the point where you simply want to find the peace in your heart.

Are you looking for that something that can help take you back to a state where… it simply doesn’t hurt anymore? A state more balanced, where you no longer think about your pain any longer?

Did I get that right?

If that’s you, you are not alone.

I can understand how you feel, because I’ve also felt that. The disappointment, anguish, the shock of betrayal I’ve experienced, shook me off my orbit.

Because I remember how much I needed to feel relief and hope, I want to share with you what finally helped me.

 

Did You Tried “The Obvious Fix-Yourself”?

If you’re like me, you already tried in so many ways to heal your heart! You’re probably thinking “I’ve already tried so hard to heal my broken heart!”

Let me guess: you tried not thinking about it, in hope that it’ll fade with time.

You tried approaching other people, because hey, “One fire drives out another’s burning”, right?

You may have already made changes to your life, so that you’re busy focusing on something else – because you heard about law of attraction and you receive what you think about.

You try to laugh more and party more, acting as if you’re ok, hoping to fake it till you make it.

Did any of that really work?

I know. Temporarily – yes.

You can still pretend to be ok.

You don’t want to be the adult cry baby and that helps survive in society until you get home. But you can not lie to yourself.

It still hurts. Disappointment, betrayal, wasted feelings and your precious time invested in someone else still makes you sad, angry and even depressed. And angry not only at the other person, but… rather, at yourself.

 

Before Healing My Broken Heart, My Life Felt Like Being Stuck in a Tornado

 

I remember about how I felt years ago, when I was going through my heart break depression.

In its early days, the relationship was making me feel like I’m the most special in the world, but soon this rapidly eroded. Somehow, felt I was being lied and used.

Until one day, when I got proof, seeing it with my own eyes – and many other clues finally matched together like a puzzle – I was not the only one anymore.

After confronting him, many hurtful lies and another painful six months on and off, I finally found the strength to end it and actually stick to my decision.

The experience caused an anguish to the extent I didn’t thought it is humanly possible to suffer so much from a broken heart. The psychological pain was so intense, that it almost felt physical.

It seemed like nothing would finally fix me.

 

All this was pointing to this feeling I was trying to hide: the pain of a broken heart. The delusion of high, unmet expectations. The despair of waiting for love and devotion from someone else, instead of loving myself and being primarily devoted to my own self.

 

But then, one cold December day, when I’d given up struggling to avoid how I felt, I found something that finally reversed the path from deep pain to relief.

I remember it as if it was yesterday: December 8, 2013. While visiting a Christmas fair, I saw through the window of a bookstore a title that went straight to my heart.

I bought that book and went straight home. With a hot cup of hea, next to the Christmas tree lights, I felt a little cozy and I started to read.

 

What followed was tears, sobs and relief!  Finally, I really felt like I was seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. At last, something that spoke to me! It felt like the mere acknowledging of my pain made it easier, and allowed me to feel relief!

 

From that point on, many serendipitous events unfolded the next, and the following step to take on my path.

Working on myself, little by little, I could finally let go of resentment, forgive him, forgive myself for letting me down, and finally – start to feel peace again.

Now I am aware that, had I chosen to skip this experience (for example, choosing not to be in this relationship), life would have brought it to me in another form. Maybe with different people, but featuring the same lessons to be learned.

 

The Two Things That Can Make a Difference in Starting to Heal Your Heart

 

First, what I want to share with you here is that, in my view, self work is super powerful! If you ask the smart questions, you can give yourself illuminating answers.

In fact, you can begin and test for yourself the power of asking smart questions. This is one of the most effective exercises I’ve ever worked with, and it’s my gift to you. Take 15 minutes for yourself and go through the following Top 5 Smart Questions Worksheet to Get Unstuck- Download it using the form below.

Download Your Gift Here

Top 5 Smart Questions Worksheet to Get You Unstuck

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Second, while self work is the first, basic level of healing, the next level is receiving guidance from wise teachers.This is the purpose why I’m sharing this with you.

 

I strongly believe that people who deal with these emotions should know that wise guidance is available to help them heal their broken heart!

The resources I’m about to share are developed by from some of the most renowned psychologists and teachers in the world. These are a very precious heritage, left here for us to use. As for me, I am so grateful that life brought to me such wisdom!

And not just me, but also to millions of other people worldwide.

How To Know if The Guidance for Healing a Broken Heart Actually Works?

I’ve found that the quality of the process depends on two things: one, the quality of the questions you ask yourself and two: the questions need to be addressed in your primary language.

First, on the quality of questions. I’ve discovered the following to be true:

“The quality of your life depends on the quality of the questions you ask yourself” – Dr John Demartini

That means – if you persist in asking yourself – like I did, for years – : “Why me?” “How could he do this to me?” or “When will this pain stop?”, you are stuck in thinking disempowering thoughts.

With the proper guidance, you finally get to ask the right questions, get your own revealing answers and experience a real breakthrough.

As I mentioned earlier, smart questions asked in the right context result in revelations! These revelations are Aha! moments that offer relief and push you forward.

If you didn’t already tried their effectiveness, go ahead and download for free the most effective exercise for getting unstuck. Top 5 Smart Questions Worksheet to Get Unstuck- Download it using the form below.

Download Your Gift Here

Top 5 Smart Questions Worksheet to Get You Unstuck

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You’ll experience many insightful questions further on in the resources I’m recommending.

Second, the questions need to be addressed in the primary way in which you receive information. In plain English, your communication style. It was during my NLP formation that I came to understand about the primary ways in which we receive information: visual, auditory, kinesthetic.

To save yourself time, and get the fastest, most effective results, you need to work with approaches that match your most prominently developed sensory receivers: Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic (VAK).

For example: you might think you are mostly visual, because you think in images: you remember how things looked, you remember most easily images, and even when you recall a text, you see the words. Or, perhaps you are kinesthetic, because you remember how you felt when something happened, either externally – like a touch, or how it felt inside: surprise, pleasure, fear, and so on.

How does that apply to working on yourself? You may have to choose between reading a book, listening to an audiobook, following a meditation visualisation or an online video course; or you may have to fill in a worksheet – how do you know where to start to get the best results? Not to mention – as it happened to me a lot – what to purchase? You want to know which is best for you, so you could save your time and money.

To realise what’s my match (I like reading AND worksheets primarily, then audio recordings), it took me nearly a decade. This means more than one hundred books I’ve read, I’ve purchased tens of courses and audios, tried meditations and classroom workshops…

The benefit of this is the fact that I’ve come to know many authors and self help tools and got to try them myself.

Now, I’ve selected the best and I’m sharing that with you!

Patience cannot be bypassed. However, I know you agree with me that a shortcut to understanding yourself is always welcome. You can have that shortcut by choosing directly the format that is most appropriate for you.

 

How much does it take to Heal a Broken Heart?

 

The whole process took a while to go back.

It didn’t happen overnight. Years and years of experiences need time to process. Creating a new life experience takes a while.

You have to recreate thought by thought, choice by choice, moment by moment, the new life that you want to live.

I can’t promise that you’ll solve all your problems by next weekend – because I personally don’t believe in that.

What happens instantly when you experience working with yourself is finding relief.

 

Adding experience after experience of releasing resentment and feeling relief, guess what happens? You grow a new YOU. That’s right! Every minute spent working on yourself is like nourishment for The New YOU that you want to grow: a more balanced and self-loving one.

 

Louise Hay had a wonderful comparison: If you plant a seed today, you don’t expect this to grow overnight, neither you go the next day to dig in the ground to see if it sprouted. You care for it the best you can, trust it that it will come out next spring and respect the natural flow: there is a time for rest and restoration. Give this time to you!

What does that mean for you? I mean that with the healthy approach, the focus towards meeting your own needs, will grow wonders.

It takes time to fully heal your heart. While becoming whole again is a naturally lengthy process, what can and DOES happen instantly is finding relief!

 

The Question That Will Not Improve Your Life: “When will he come back to me?”

 

I don’t want to lie to you. I’m going to be honest here. If your primary concern is “When will he/ she come back to me?” or versions of that, let me I will summarise here the essence of all the wisdom you’ll receive from the psychologists and spiritual teachers: That is not the best question to uplift your life.

Rather, the best questions, to which the answers will set you free and fulfill your life are more in the following way of thinking:

What are the life lessons for me, from this experience?

Which are the life lessons I learned, so far?

What does this situation serve, from a higher perspective?

If you are ready to accept this, you’re going to appreciate the next part’  if you do not agree with what I’ve written at this point, it is possible that what I’m writing here just isn’t for you at the moment. And that’s ok.

Tips that Save You Time and Money

When choosing any material to work with, as much as possible, check if there is a way you can try a sample. This is how you check the style of the writer. It may have fantastic reviews from other people, but not match you, specifically.

I totally recommend, before buying a book, to check if it has an ebook version. A great place to search is on Amazon; you can even download a free sample of the book, which usually has the first chapter or even two chapters. You can read that online, on your computer, or on a free Kindle app on your phone, or on your Kindle device.

Yes, I am an affiliate of Amazon and I do that because I’m a (heavy) user and a fan; and in my opinion they provide some really helpful services.

More than that: check audiobooks. On Audible, (the audiobook store of Amazon), you can listen to a sample from the audiobook. If you don’t like the voice narrating – just read the book yourself. (By the way, when you register for Audible, your first two audiobooks are free!)

Ok, this much for the introduction. Are you ready to find your guidance?

Top Resources for Guidance to Heal Your Heart

Some materials and resources are recommended for all major categories – Visual, Auditory & Kinesthetic.

I suggest you read the description, then go and check the formats in which you can find them and choose the most appropriate one for you.

Here are the resources:

1.First of all, Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life and You Can Heal Your Heart are two of the best recommendations I have on the topic.

Louise Hay became a bestselling author after sharing her wisdom with tens of millions of people around the world so far. Her inner transformation was marked by her own healing from cancer. Louise was one of the first spiritual teachers that spoke directly to people like you and me; not like an ascet preaching for others that wanted to become monks.

Reading, listening or going through the additional materials of You Can Heal Your Life is like having the village’s shaman talking to you. The tone is wise, calm, non judgemental and caring.

If you’re not going to use Louise’s work it after you read this now, you will totally meet this book at the right time in your life!

Louise hay’s teachings are full of information that you might have thought of, but dismiss for being too “dramatic”. Or being just crazy. But it is a wonderful validation for how our thinking creates our lives.

You’ll discover how that applies to relationships, how we choose our partners, what are the mechanisms that make us give too much or neglect ourselves and how we repeat over and over again the same experiences.

In her work, You Can Heal Your Life, Louise offers many exercises and meditations so you can finally heal the emotional wounds that make you recreate suffering in your life.

I stumbled upon Louise Hay’s work when I reluctantly shared my relationship sorrow to a friend, fearing I will be judged. Instead, she exhaled with calm and relief and told me about You Can Heal Your Life and how this book had been the turnaround for her.

I found the book and went through it, and since then, I am very grateful for the difference it made in my life! First, I purchased a paperback, then an e-book, the audio course and a meditation app on my phone. Yes, the content is that valuable!

  1. Karol Truman is a psychologist and author of “Feelings Buried Alive Never Die…” This is actually the first book that I found in the book shop at the Christmas fair, and it has been a valuable help to heal my broken heart, and it can be the same for you!

So what was so helpful? Well, first of all, the title is magnific. It sums up the wisdom of this entire work, showing that you need to work on yourself, rather than pretend that you’re ok and wait for the sorrow to pass.

It offers a great start in finding yourself, exploring the depths of your being and getting a bit your shadow side out of the closet. The book is easy to go through, and the book offers you the tools to actually name those feelings that burden you. You get to identify your state, and become aware of it. Also, the book offers a tool for converting the negative feelings into a more positive perspective – which is the winning approach in getting over with a broken heart! With dedication to yourself, it can be a breakthrough! You can find her book here.

  1.  Daniel Goleman, author and science journalist, offered us this astonishing work: Emotional Intelligence. Only reading this will make you feel like: ok, I finally GET IT!

This is a book for skeptics, because it is based on significant research and the conclusions of the author are based on extensive studies, not just his observation. This book is so well written and documented that it can take you out of deep trances.

What I mean by that? I mean that it literally allowed me to pull out from the dizziness of being in love with trouble (with a person, actually, but trouble summarizes well the experience).

It allows you to have a different perspective over life, a very empowering one. While reading it, you step out of yourself and you can see your emotions and reactions from a higher perspective. This helps you no longer identify with your emotions, and get over them easier and faster.

This explains how the way you react (especially in tense situations) is impacting your relationships, career and why the most successful people are the ones that are not impulsive.

You can find here the ebook or a free sample of it or you can find the audiobook on the following link – or here, listen to a free sample or download it for free when you open a new Audible account.

4.Paulo Coelho, in his work, The Manuscript Found in Accra. I cannot get enough with saying that this is a gem! Although it only comes as a book (here an easy to download free sample or the ebook) and doesn’t have complementary materials, it is worth every minute reading this.

It has so much wisdom and it manages so well to put complex soul issues into simple words.  His stories heal hearts. It is one of the books I have gifted to many people, because I thought it is he most valuable present I could offer. So much wisdom in a 5  hour read and not to mention – for less than 10$! I’ve written more about Paulo Coelho’s work and wisdom here.

I hope this will help you find your way! Come back and let me know how it went for you.

 

Bia

 

PS: coming back to how I started this summary. You remember that an effective self help process depends on two things:

  1. The quality of your questions determines the quality of your life and
  2. Self work and healing happens most effectively when you access it in your primary communication style: visual, auditory or kinesthetic. That’s why, I suggest:
  • Download the a free e-book sample to see if you like the style on a free Kindle app;
  • Give it a try with audiobooks; the first two are for free when you register with Audible;
  • Check if they have available support both in video and audio; for instance, a video file can be played and only listened, not watched;
  • If you don’t know whether you are primarily Visual, Auditory or Kinesthetic, I have another gift for you; it’s a quiz to help you find out –> [qsm_link id=3]Click here[/qsm_link]