Deserving. A strong word which you may affirm with ease or with heaviness in your heart.
What’s your case? Because I know mine, and for a long time I didn’t feel worthy of having not to say abundantly, but not merely enough. Until I realised that what kept me struggling was precisely the belief that this is what I was worthy of.
If this is the case for you, and you just had an Aha! Right now that indeed, feeling worthy is something sensitive and important for you, then read on!
Think about people you know in your life. Maybe people about which you could say they are convinced they need to struggle to barely subsist. Now think if you know at least one person which is living at the other end point. That is thriving. Another way put, loving so much what you do, that you enjoy the work and even effort you are putting into it.
The self worth perception can improve. It really can, and actually fast. If you’ve been programmed for decades that you have to work hard to merely make ends meet, then I will begin with this: there are solutions that you can use, even for free, to substantially improve your perception of yourself. There are ways in which you can, literally, make yourself realise that you are worthy of receiving good things from life.
Why? I will approach the issue at two levels of conscience: a lower one and a higher one. The lower one is a “quick fix” that will make you feel good right now, while for the higher one, I show some amazing resources, that will dramatically help you feel better about yourself, without going back to feeling and behaving as un-deserving.
Firstly, let’s use the same level of conscience of the “I am unworthy” belief. The explanation can be put the following way: You deserve good things coming your way because, in turn, you already give the best in you, in those areas of your life that matter most to you.
Just go through what matters most to you: family? pets? work?
So do you have a family? Surely you make sure they are safe, they have food as healthy and as fresh as you can possibly find, they are kept clean and warm. All through your effort and care, daily.
Let’s think if you have a pet. Well I’m sure you are taking care of its hygiene, his food, his shelter and you are spending time caring for it.
Maybe it’s your work that requires most dedication from you. All that attention to details, everything being taken care of, making sure you keep your promises to people whom you gave your word to. Think about the research before you commit to something, all the extra effort in order to make sure it actually happens. Maybe it’s also taking responsibility for unforeseen situations that arise and you voluntarily take care of them, because you are committed to seeing the end result as good as it can be.
All these activities make you the provider of wellness for others. You are all the time “running in background” the “care center”. The one that knows what needs to be done next 3 steps ahead and you take care of everything happening and running smoothly. In this, you put your time, knowledge, dedication to make things work. To keep the world in order for others. You are giving time and energy to provide the world with good things. At least for this, you deserve good things coming your way!
This trade-off belief is not taking very far. Because as you want to receive more from life in terms of wealth, staying at this level of conscience might lead to an unhealthy way of perceiving life. It could make you drain your energy in other to provide for others, so you can feel that, at last, you are worthy to receive more!
And this way, we come to the higher level of understanding about worthiness. This means that you are worthy of having a good life because you are spark of the Divine, a child of God, wherever you want to express this. And because you have this light in you, you give and receive. You give to the best of your abilities and you receive (wellness and wealth) because it matches who you really are.
Is this hard to chew? Did you just think “Oh, come on! This is BS!”. Or did you think that while this might be true, you are still far away from cleaning yourself of the negative programing? That you are still far from instilling in you the right beliefs?
Well, it is possible. It can be a short process, but I will not lie: for most people it is a lengthy one. But it DOES happen and results are shown every step of the process.
This is why, I strongly recommend going through some of the resources I suggest below, because they are life changing! That is, if you apply the exercises they suggest in your life.
I’ve come across so far several authors which describe their own methods of cleansing the old limiting beliefs. Let’s take them one by one.
Louise Hay is one of the pioneers in the self help field who gave us effective, proven tools through which we can heal our life. The words are simple, but should you go through Louise’s work, you feel to the very core of your life the value of what she gave us.
Louise teaches us that everything that we have in our life, we created! Whether it is health, wellness and prosperity or disease, poverty or inharmonious relationships they are all rooted in our beliefs. We are unconscious of those beliefs, because we acquired them from a young age.
Just going through her words you may find yourself sobbing with relief! Louise proposes affirmations, visualizations and meditations that help cleanse the psyche from unhelpful beliefs.
You can find her wisdom primarily in her book, “You can heal your life”. I recommend you to have both the written version and the audiobook, because she offers meditation and this way, meditations go smoother. Free, valuable resources are on her websites: www.healyourlife.com and www.louisehay.com. Also, I have apps on my phone with meditations and affirmations – this is optional. I have them because I like to take use technology, but this depends on what each one of you prefers. I have written here about another topic that is well covered in this book.
The second resource: I’ve come across the work of Nancy Levin, a contemporary author that has put into words something so valuable and applicable! It is her book “Worthy: Boost your Self-Worth to Grow Your Net Worth”, which is a step by step journey to transform your beliefs that keep you stuck. It is extraordinary – and believe me, I am not exaggerating – the way she explains the vicious cycle.
Our belief about ourselves being not valuable causes us to accept low wages. Also, this makes us stay in relationships where we are not valued or respected. This is what allows our close ones to take advantage of us all the time. Why? Because we tolerate that. If we had a belief that we deserve to be treated well, respected and offered and recognition to the extent of our value, then anything less that that, we wouldn’t accept. We simply would end those relationships and naturally we would nurture ones that match our level of self perceptions.
Let’s take an extreme example. You probably wouldn’t stay at a 10 hour job where you are not allowed to go to the restroom and the supervisor would verbally or physically abuse you when you made mistakes, right? Unless this seems acceptable to you. The same way is in our personal relationships. We stay only when the way others treat us matches the level of treatment that we tolerate as acceptable. Back to the job example, maybe you wouldn’t tolerate physical abuse but you tolerate working under constant pressure, or being paid the minimum to subsist. Or you tolerate being paid less than the level matching your qualifications or expertise.
In this book, Nancy is explaining very thoroughly the psychological link between our unconscious beliefs and our net worth. But most valuable, she offers a process to transform. Step by step. Numerous exercises to uncover hidden programming, then creative work to write new patterns, then actionable small steps. It is really possible! While you become better at acknowledging your true worth, you make choices in real life. That, in turn, as the title says, grows your net worth.
I have worked with her book, Worthy, both the ebook and the audiobook. I am doing the exercises over a longer period of time, so the revelations have time to “grow roots”. Maybe my words cannot reveal the effectiveness of Nancy Levin’s work so you try it for yourself! Also, check out her website, www.nancylevin.com for amazing articles with similar topic. I even chose Worthy to be in Top 5 books you need to read in this lifetime (by me).
As I come across some other valuable resources I will edit and add them here. Until then, tell me how the exercises proposed by Louise Hay and Nancy Levin have worked for you.
All the best!